#seriously hated the way i wrote my original post

[ugly-anarchist]

I said it in the tags of that one ask but I wanna Talk More so...

I think that if trans women said they had a period and it was just that my reaction would honestly be "I don't agree but it's not my place to say anything because I don't think it's harmful. It would be more productive to find your own terms or whatever but honestly who cares"

But the reasoning in why they say they have periods is why I really think it's harmful. Cramps and hormonal changes are not a period and saying you have one because of it (I feel) adds to the stigma around periods and we shouldn't be defining periods on just the secondary symptoms that cause harm and discomfort.

[mbat]

before i pass out for the night. since my brain is back on dan and phil as if its 2016 or something i need to put this out into the world. this isnt some sort of important life changing post, just a personal funny thing

so when i was 13 and fixating on dan and phil, i read a lot of fanfics. like, i guarantee that even after all these years that, if i had the statistics, that fandom was the one i read the most fanfics for and constantly. i couldnt tell you what nearly any of them were about, and i have a feeling that many of them are probably lost to time by now. i also dont know if i need to mention that yeah, a lot of them were shipping, and yes ive long grown out of that. (the dnp fandom is actually what made me grow out of that)

anyway all this to say that over the last 6 years after i stopped fixating on dan and phil, one fanfic stuck with me and i just. i think about it every once in a while. its been over half a decade. it wasnt a groundbreaking fic, i dont remember any quotes or specifics, just the premise as of at least the first few chapters. idk why it stuck with me

it was literally a fic about. if the world had gotten to a point where almost every child was born as like, a science baby instead of a natural baby, and phil was a science baby, but dan was a natural baby. and there was somehow this like, thing where the science babies would bully the natural babies for some reason idek, and this was a highschool setting and i think dan was a new kid in school. and what gets me about the fic is that dan was some small shy scared kid and phil was some mean jerk bully. and how wild that is compared to how they are in real life

this isnt me trying to find the fic or the person who wrote it or any of that, this is literally just. i remember this fic at least once every few months and i needed to get it out of my brain somewhere

[indulgentdaydream]

Hello luv, first of all... I LOVE NURSE!READER!!! OH god the last lines were soooooo heartwarming for my social worker heart!! LOVE LOVE IT 🩷🩷

So, may I request a Jason x reader again but with a little something... Jealous Jason because reader and Roy know each other longer than Jay and reader and then he gets all jelly and and—! Oh god I love a jealous petty man.

Missy when she fucks up the queue and queues this post for NEXT YEAR by accident 🫣🙃 NEXT YEAR?? LIKE THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE POSTED LAST FRIDAY AND I DIDN'T EVEN NOTICE THAT IT DIDN'T GO UP

anyways AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH your words are already heartwarming ♥️

I loveeee jealous jason imma cook this up so quick just you wait and see (i wrote this when i first made the draft and i found it funny to leave it. It’s literally been a month I’m so sorry)

I also made this into headcanons because I had a VISION and did not think to give it any justice. (koi youre seriously my number 1 supporter i hope you enjoy this garbage I just threw up, really)

Pining!Jealous!Jason Todd x Reader

Warnings: slight jealousy (not too overly consuming), alcohol consumption

Roy had invited Jason to hang out at the bar

Bros being bros

except...

Roy brought you along (because he KNOWS Jason has got a fat crush on you whether or not he’s told him)

(He tried to convince roy it’s not a crush, but always fails because his whole demeanour changes when you walk in the room)

examples:

he's always going to be standing beside you, consciously or not

jason isn't always a tense guy. But he for sure isn't as long as you're talking to him/looking at him/etc. (but if you put your hand on his arm/touch him in any way, it's game over)

your name is brought up, he's listening SO INTENTLY

like a dog when it hears its favourite word

Anyways

The three of you are sitting in a booth

It was originally you and roy before jason showed up, the two of you on either side

Jason shows up and just sits right next to you. No hesitation.

You and roy are laughing away, recounting stories and telling jokes.

Jason is just... really quiet

unusually quiet

He doesn’t look at you guys, rather looking out across the bar, trying to hide the fact he’s feeling this way

That he's feeling unreasonably jealous of his best friend

who literally brought you FOR JASON

He knows it’s stupid. He trusts both of you. You two are the two people he trusts the MOST

He hates that he’s like this, but he can't help it

Roy's better than him. You've known him for longer. He's making you laugh harder than Jason ever has. He's better looking, too. Older. More experienced.

His thoughts are clogging up his head. He's really not listening anymore, just holding his beer, eyes scanning the bar floor, watching the other patrons.

Then Roy is standing in front of him, saying something about using the bathroom.

He is giving a VERY pointed look at Jason.

a "make conversation with your crush or I'm shoving an arrow down your throat" kind of look

Jason felt a little stab of genuine anxiety shoot through him.

He's talked to you alone before. Many times. You two were friends, of course. He doesn't know why this is how he's feeling right now.

Then your hand is resting on his forearm.

Poor boy is still so caught up in his head he just looks down at your hand for definitely a second too long before finally meeting your gaze

Your gaze with those stupidly pretty eyes.

Then comes that horrendously pretty voice, "You alright?"

He nods. Shrugs. Like a stupid teenager who doesn't know how to handle his emotions.

He has to admit he's still a little tense about your attention being focused more on Roy. But not to you. He'd never admit it to you. You'd probably find it unattractive and then he'd really never have a chance.

“Yeah, no, im enjoying the talking. Always forget how well you and roy know each other”

“Oh yeah he just knows how to get me going. You know how he is”

Jason doesn’t know how he does it.

Like some leap of faith.

Some, jealousy super-powered leap.

He tries to be non-chalant about it.

“It’d be nice to do this again sometime. Maybe without Roy around.”

BOY'S HEART IS POUNDING

Sipping on his beer, looking down at it instead to avoid eye contact with you so he doesn't lose his cool.

Or someone show on his face that he is actually shitting bricks

You don't respond for a second and the alarm bells start going off in his head

WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I SAY THAT WHY DID I SAY-

"It would be nice," you say, "Could we make it a date instead?"

He's smiling, turning to nod at you, "Course we can."

But his internal dialogue is just straight screaming at himself

"IDIOT YOU SHOULD'VE MADE IT OBVIOUS YOU WANTED IT TO BE A DATE IN THE FIRST PLACE"

The things jealousy will make you do

Roy comes back and sits down

Jason's into the conversation now

It doesn't really matter that Roy is still making you laugh

because he's not the one holding your hand under the table

AH I HOPE YOU LIKE -missy

I also love a jealous petty man (as long as it doesn't become toxic and he doesn't use it as an excuse to be an asshole)

[sanesaviour]

Solarion (1st image is character sheet, 2nd is another outfit exploration I did) read more below⬇️⬇️⬇️

I’ve decided to mess with you little bit like Solarion messes with people lol, so plot twist- Solarion is girl, I know, shocking- her real name is K… yes just K (I wanted to call her so me really long complicated name… but I find it quite interesting having only one letter as name)

She uses voicechanger bc she knows that people will take her more seriously as male vigilante than if they knew the truth, but she also does that to protect herself and her identity… Of course spidey team doesn’t know about her true identity and neither does S.H.I.E.L.D. ... It’s really hard to track her down bc everyone is convinced that Solarion is a man, but also bc she no longer has family nor friends, she dropped out of highschool and she doesn’t do nearly anything else besides vigilante stuff (maybe she sometimes goes clubbing at night to lose some steam)

I kinda think she is not American (well bc I’m not too lol so you have to deal with it now), she is from somewhere in Europe (haven’t decided from where yet, but when I will write someday about her origin story I will definitely mention it so stay tuned)… after one incident she had nothing left to lose so she moved to New York to fight villains and help people (she needed to find some meaning to her life)… she became masked vigilante named Solarion and quickly became really popular amongst people (you can read more about that stuff in my previous post)

Ofc Spidey team is not happy about Solarion, he sometimes get to places faster than them and defeat villain before they even arrive, so naturally they sees him as competition (I write him bc they think she is man, I know it’s bit confusing), but lot of times he is very cooperative and helps them in fights and on the other hand they often save his ass from getting beaten too, but still they don’t like much each other mainly because how unserious and reckless he can be, because of his double meaning jokes, but also bc of how well he can connect with regular people (lot of people root for him)

I already wrote about Solarions relationship with Spidey and Nick Fury in my last post about him but here are some headcanons and stuff about him and other characters:

1. Nova really despises Solarion, mainly because of how he constantly humiliates him, but also he is bit jealous of Solarions popularity amongst young people, how they adore him or how they copy his style… Nova always pokes fun about Solarions outfits like “nice outfit, did you find it in dumpster” but secretly he is just bit salty about that he didn’t came up with that idea before Solarion… also I think he once tried to wear regular clothes over his hero suit but got memed on social media so bad (or called Solarion fanboy or wannabe) that he never did it again… they make fun of each other all the time, but that doesn’t stop fangirls from shipping them (Nova hates it, Solarion loves it lol)

2. Powerman doen’t really get how others can be so annoyed with Solarion, he knows that Solarion likes to rage bait them and always tells Nova to just ignore him and focus on mission (nova never listens), he actually doesn’t mind him that much as long as he helps them and actually thinks that Spidey and Solarion are not that different maybe because how they both manage to joke in most inappropriate situations… also at some point he starts calling Solarion bro (Solarion is so happy about it and tries to hide it, but sometimes that spark of joy is way to visible) and he calls him bro back ofc

3. White tiger also despises him, mainly because Solarion jokingly flirts with her and calls her kitty, she finds it disgusting (for Solarion it is mostly just a cover to hide his identity, although he really likes how she looks while fighting, bi curiosity lol)… she hates how arrogant he can be, whenever he smirks at her during fight she gets irrationally annoyed but doesn’t know why… out of everyone Ava is most suspicious about his identity, something about his movements and mannerism feels off, but she can’t put her finger on it

4. Iron fist never gets frustrated with Solarion’s sarcasm, he treats it like a puzzle rather than problem - he just observes him and tries to find some patters and reasons why Solarion might be like that… after listening to his rants he just tells him “you should try out meditation and finding some balance” and solarion answers “I am balanced - balanced between being super awesome and being super hot”, also Danny either really hates Solarions inappropriate jokes (mostly because his mind suppose to be stay pure and focused) or he doesn’t get them at all

So in nutshell they are not very happy about Solarion lol, although Peter is more sympathetic towards him than others… they sometimes hang out on rooftops for moment after long day and just talk for while… but this all is how things are before they find out Solarions true identity

Also I m so sorry for how poorly is this written but I just can’t do better today, but I swear I will write more stuff (and hopefully better stuff) in near future… hope you like my rant but also art :))))



[longtallglasses]

saw this post, original post from @jonathanbyersphd :) and wrote a little goodbye ritual. here on ao3

Will sadly plots his feet back down the stairs to the basement, just having received a devastating call home from his Mother.

Mike and Lucas sit beside each other on the rug near the bookshelf. They had all been playing with Mike’s toys for hours at this point, abandoning whatever they had been watching on the TV when they arrived.

He stands at the landing for a minute watching them, not knowing how to bring up this horrible news.

Mike seems to sense his presence and looks up, his brow furrowing at Will’s less-than-happy face, “Will? What’s wrong?”

Looking down at his feet, kicking them nervously, Will mumbles, “My mom just called. She’s coming to get me soon.”

“No!” Lucas begins to yell, but Mike quickly interrupts, overpowering his sentiment.

“What!” Mike exclaims, shooting up to run over to him, “Noo, no, no, you can’t go, we still haven’t fought off the forest warriors. We need you for that, we need our wizard!”

“I know,” Will says sadly, hating to see the despair take over Mike’s face. They were so close, so close to victory.

Mike quickly takes Will’s face in his hands, covering his ears to save him from Mike yelling, “Mom! Mom!”

They hear the telltale signs of Karen’s feet pattering through the kitchen. She opens up the basement door and looks down at them, “Michael, what are you yelling about?”

“Will can’t go! Call his Mom back, we need more time! It’s too early!” He shouts as he keeps his palms over Will’s eardrums.

Mrs. Wheeler sighs, looking down at his son’s astounding anguish over a friend leaving that he will no doubt see the next day. “It’s not too early. The Byers’ have something planned tonight, Will has to go, you’ll see him soon,” She says, trying to placate her distraught son.

“Noo!” Mike cries again.

“Michael. It’s final.” She states seriously and leaves the boys to mourn their loss.

Mike removes his hands from Will’s ears to wrap his arms around him, “You can’t go,” he whines.

From behind them Lucas rolls his eyes, as the third member of the group he’d grown quite accustomed to the antics of the other two when they inevitably had to say goodbye. He didn’t really understand it—the way they clung to each other and professed dramatic words about when they would next see each other. He feels no pull to perform such a show like they did.

Lucas watches on in un-amusement as Mike pulls away from Will, suddenly excited, “Your hat! Quick get your hat!”

Will’s face lights up, no longer looking as if he’s on his way to the gallows. running over to the couch to scrounge between the cushions looking for his wizard’s hat. Mike for his part, darts to their pile of costume pieces laying out, taking hold of his wooden sword and pretends to secure it in its holster under his arm.

“Will the Wise!” Mike calls out dramatically, puffing out his chest as Will finds his purple pointed wizard’s hat and pulls it over his head.

“Mike the Mighty!” Will calls back, standing on the couch and gazing across imaginary miles to his companion.

Lucas on the ground crosses his arms, settling down to begrudgingly watch the show. A show he’s watched almost everyday now this year since he became friends with the two.

“My wizard, I’ve searched for signs of your magic for a hundred miles now, and now we must part again so suddenly!” Mike falls to his knees, lowering his head to his chest.

“My paladin, I’ve been casting calls in the night to reach you, hoping you’d follow them and find me,” Will jumps down from the couch to approach Mike, who looks up at him, eyes sparkling, “But my prowess is needed elsewhere this evening, I must leave you now,”

Mike stands, bringing his sword up, and with a gallant swish bestows the wooden blade on each of Will’s shoulders, “I grant you my protection even in my absence. My dear friend, I will follow you to the ends of the land to keep you safe,”

A faint pink hue blossoms across Will’s cheeks, “And I you. My magic will always follow you,” Will tells him, taking the hold of Mike’s wrist that grips his sword, bringing them slightly closer, “If you are ever in danger I will be standing beside you. You have your shield?”

Sighing loudly, Lucas falls onto his back, picking up the toy dinosaur at his side and idly fiddling with its arms, patiently waiting for his friends to reach the end of this tired, tired, production.

“Yes!” Mike declares—he doesn’t actually—but he bolsters his arm out like it’s sheathed on his forearm.

Will places his hands on his arm, “Remember my magic lives in here too, if you are attacked I will be your shield,”

Nodding seriously, Mike places his hand over Will’s, “I remember. I could never forget.”

Lucas groans, “Are you guys done yet?”

“Silence Sundar!” Mike cries, keeping his eyes on Will, “my wizard is leaving me, I must say goodbye properly,”

Will smiles through a giggle, but composes himself, “Not leaving. This is not a goodbye my paladin,”

“No. You’re right, it’s not,” Mike agrees softly, “we will reunite quite soon,”

“And our adventures will continue,” Will finishes.

Mike smiles, “Please journey safely,”

“Will’s Mom isn’t even here yet,” Lucas complains.

Will’s hands grip Mike’s arm tighter, “I’ll be thinking of you with every step I take, and every spell I cast,”

Mike takes hold of his shoulder, “Every swing of my sword and every battle cry I yell will be for you, my wizard,”

“Oh my god,” Lucas moans, rolling over to bury his face in his arms.

The scene goes on for several minutes. The wizard and the paladin continue to recount the ways in which they will be with each other in their absence, how they will reunite, and how they will continue on stronger together than when they parted. Lucas, their ranger, having to bear witness in agony to the whole drama.

Finally a knock comes to the door of the basement. A ring of reprieve for the ranger, and a sounding of distress for the other two party members.

“Will, Joyce is here!” they hear Mrs. Wheeler call out to them.

The two mothers probably know the boys will not come so easily to those words, opening the door and taking a few steps down to survey the severity of this particular goodbye today.

Joyce stands with an amused grin a few steps up from the bottom landing, watching as the two boys scramble back to the other side of the room in hiding, “No!” They cry.

“Will, it’s time to say goodbye,” Joyce says, trying to sound light and positive.

“Mom, please just a bit longer,” Will begs, standing behind the arm of the couch with Mike, as if the small barrier would protect them.

Joyce sighs, “Will you know Grandma is visiting, we gotta go. You’ll see Mike tomorrow,” she reasons.

“But that’s forever away!” Mike cries, holding Will against him and pulling him behind him.

“Michael,” Karen cuts in, “Let your friend go,”

Mike shakes his head, defiant, grumbling, “Mm-mm,”

Watching on from his place on the floor, Lucas rolls his eyes for a third time in the last fifteen minutes.

“Mike,” Will says softly, “It’s okay, I will see you tomorrow,” giving in to make his friend feel better.

Mike turns to him in betrayal, “No wait, we haven’t finished our goodbye,” he tries desperately.

Will smiles, the finish, his favorite part. The part he imagines in his mind when he rests his head on his pillow at night.

It’s not anything crazy, but it’s the way they do it. Will nods, “Yeah, yeah, let’s finish,” he says.

Mike kneels again, placing a hand over his heart, “Until whence we meet again, Will the Wise, I’ll be preparing for our next adventure,” he looks up at Will, appearing strong in his sorrow.

Will mirrors the action, placing a hand over his own heart, “Until then, Mike the Mighty, my full strength won’t return until I see you,”

Outstretching his arm, Mike offers his hand palm up, which Will slides his into. Mike brings his hand to his lips, leaving the chastest kiss upon his knuckles.

Somewhere in the room the two women giggle at the show, and the ranger rolls his eyes for a fourth time. Yet the wizard and paladin pay them no mind, their gaze locked with their hands clasped.

Mike abruptly breaks the dramatics of the moment, leaping up from his knees, “Okay, bye!” he says jovially, as he engulfs Will in his arms into a tight hug.

“Bye,” Will whispers, squeezing back as hard as he can.

“Okay,” Karen sighs, “You’ve said your goodbye now,”

Mike sways them back and forth, pulling Will off his heels for a moment, “Bye,” he says again, quieter this time, just for Will’s ears.

Eventually Will and his Mother make their exit, leaving Mike and Lucas alone at last in the basement.

“Do you guys seriously have to do that every time?” Lucas asks, exasperated and exhausted from having to have had to live through the Mike and Will show once more.

Mike looks at him like he’s crazy, “Yes,” he answers indignantly.

“Why?”

“Because…” Mike thinks for a minute, “because our bond is just special, you wouldn’t understand,” he finishes with a shrug, but an apparent blush has appeared on his face.

Lucas shakes his head, “We seriously need a new party member,” he decides.

[midnight-glasses]

I'm back with a little post! Enjoy the atrocities I wrote.

Some things I think he does or has done, even if it's intended to be humorous:

🐺 — Shin bullies kids on roblox and enjoys it more than he'd like to admit.

🐺 — He takes board games way too seriously, normally flipping tables when loses and accuse others of cheating even in games of pure chance.

🐺 — He believes in Santa.

🐺 — Shin wakes up on November 1st and starts decorating for Christmas.

🐺 — He tackles and wrestles people to show affection.

🐺 — For some reason, he believes vacuum cleaners are some form of modern human weapon and avoids them at all costs.

🐺 — He has an incredible long-term memory but an awful short-term memory.

🐺 — Shin has a stash of bad pickup lines that he tries out to flirt, like: “Are you a full moon? Because you’ve got me howling...”

🐺 — He is a furry.

🐺 — Shin has a Mary Sue oc.

🐺 — This oc also has a fursona version, which is clearly a self-insertion of himself into a character.

🐺 — He often uses this character to make the oc×canon, simply because he is too proud to admit that this Mary Sue oc is a self-insert.

🐺 — He uses the word “dude” like a comma

🐺 — Shin knows fnaf lore complete and can give very specific, useless details about it even if you don't ask for it.

🐺 — Just like his brother, he is awful with technology and doesn't know how to use a smart phone.

🐺 — He accidentally posts selfies to social media with strange captions like: “What hell is this shit?”

🐺 — Shin claims to hate modern human food but secretly loves pineapple on pizza. He sneaks out late at night to grab a slice of his guilty pleasure.

🐺 — He tells dad jokes.

🐺 — Once, he tried to use his cell phone camera to shave his balls but got confused when hearts started appearing on the screen.

🐺 — Surprisingly, his live stream wasn’t taken down until he realized what he had done and ended it, but it became a joke among those around him.

🐺 — Every time Shin tries to cook, he makes a culinary apocalypse. He once set off a fire alarm while boiling water, and now swears that cooking is not worth it for him or is beneath him.

🐺 — He’s convinced he’s the best singer ever, even if everyone else is cringing.

🐺 — Shin tried to connect with his “inner wolf” by howling at the moon, but he lost his voice for two days and refused to admit it was from the howling.

🐺 — He spends an embarrassing amount of time in front of mirrors and gets genuinely offended if anyone catches him.

🐺 — Shin has a soft spot for animals and secretly has a collection of bunny plushies hidden in his room. If anyone finds out, he pretends they're “battle trophies”.

🐺 — He secretly keeps a Pinterest board for “Alpha Aesthetic”.

🐺 — Shin secretly wonders why he doesn’t have an fan club like Kou. He once tried to form one for himself, but no one joined.

🐺 — He uses dog shampoo to make his hair look nice.

All my written content is original, however, I do not claim ownership of the characters depicted. ©2025-Present.

[beyondspaceandstars]

Paint 'n' Sip

Relationship: Bucky Barnes x Reader Warnings: N/A, just all fluff! Summary: You convince your boyfriend Bucky to go to a paint and pour with you. A/N: so this is part of my attempt to post the writings I originally posted on ao3 before I made this account so this is a pretty old one-shot (ao3 says 2020 but I feel like I wrote this before that lmao) however I did go through and edit it so it's a bit stronger than it was before! please enjoy, it's a super simple little fluffy thing :)

Masterlist

"Doll, come on…" Bucky sighed as he gripped the event flyer in his hand. You were sitting on the couch, watching, while Bucky was planted in front the kitchen island.

You just came in the room minutes ago with puppy dog eyes in full swing and a pout as sad as you could muster. Of course, your boyfriend immediately knew something was up, but he gave you the benefit of the doubt and read the flyer you were shaking about. You had got yourself cozy on the couch and waited for his reaction. As predicted, he wasn’t a willing participant.

"What?" You frowned. "It’ll be fun."

He shook his head and turned to you. "Painting and drinking wine? Sounds more like a girls night activity."

"Well," you sighed and crossed your arms, "none of my friends are available, so I thought my wonderful boyfriend who loves me so much would go with me." You tried to keep your face as serious as possible, but it was difficult thanks to Bucky’s expression which told you he wasn’t that convinced yet.

"Doll, seriously, of course I love you, but I draw the line somewhere."

You groaned and got up from your seat, making your way over to your stubborn boyfriend. He placed the flyer on the counter and opened his arms to engulf you. Despite your slight annoyance, you accepted. You were always weak when it came to him holding you.

"You’re being a bit dramatic about this," you said as you gently ran your fingers through his hair. "It’s just a bit of painting paired with some wine sipping. What’s there to really hate?"

"Well, for starters, I’m not much of an artistic guy—," you rolled your eyes, but he continued, "and it’s gonna be full of moms."

You couldn’t help but let out a laugh. "Moms? You think it’ll be full of moms?"

Bucky gave you a look, eyebrows raised. "Wine and painting? Sounds like a mom activity."

You shook your head. "I’ll have you know, this is a very trendy thing trendy adults do."

Now, Bucky was the one laughing. "Oh? And we’re so trendy?"

You lightly hit his arm for that comment. "Come with me and you’ll see that it isn’t so bad."

He truly couldn’t say no to you. And you both secretly knew it.

Saturday night had finally rolled around.

You sat at your vanity touching up your makeup while Bucky lounged on your shared bed. You kept sneaking glances at him through the mirror, taking notice of how he had freshened up a bit more than usual. His jeans hugged him in the right places and his hair was done well. It warmed your heart to see the effort he was trying to put in for you. Even if it was just a night of painting and drinking, it was still a night out with each other.

"You almost ready, hon?" Bucky asked as he kept glancing at the clock on the wall. Your reservation was at seven and you were sure going until the last possible second with your makeup.

"Oh, sure, sure," you waved a hand in dismissal. "Just let me put on lipstick."

"Lipstick?" Bucky frowned. "That just means you won’t let me kiss you."

You let out a laugh, trying to stead your hand as the scarlet color coats your lips. "You can keep your lips to yourself for a few hours."

Your boyfriend mumbled something under his breath then whisked you out of the shared apartment.

You both arrived in just the knick of time. After checking in and grabbing your drink, you two found the only open seats. They were in the middle of the room. And they were nicely situated between two groups of excited, bubbly women.

It didn’t go missed by you that Bucky was the only guy that and from the frown forming on your boyfriend’s face, you realized he noticed at well. You did your best to hold in laughter. He would probably bug you endlessly for this one, and you knew it.

"I think you owe me for this, sweetheart." Bucky muttered as he stared emotionless at the blank canvas propped up the table.

You glanced down at your sorted paints and brushes. "Maybe this will allow you to find your inner Picasso."

Bucky let out a humorless chuckle before taking a big gulp of his drink.

While your boyfriend stewed in his grumpiness, you decided to eavesdrop on the ladies around you two—partially desperate to prove it wasn’t just moms here. You quickly found out that the women on your side were college students out celebrating the end of finals. There was, also, what looked like, a bachelorette party going on a few tables in front of you. You were just about to tell Bucky he was wrong about the clientele when the women sitting closest to him started talking about their children's soccer games. As if on cue, Bucky shot you a look.

"You so owe me for this," Bucky whispered to you. You had to cup your hand over your mouth to stop yourself from roaring with laughter.

The room died down when the instructor introduced themselves and began the class. The painting on tonight’s agenda was a simple sunset with a forest landscape. It sounded quite cute and may even make a nice piece for over your dresser, you thought.

As you got into the painting, you kept glancing over at Bucky. To much surprise, he was extremely concentrated on his canvas. Every brush stroke was done such precision and no move was done unwisely. His drink was even going untouched, completely forgotten about as he was consumed by paint. Your heart fluttered at this sight.

Turning back to your canvas, you tried to match his precision. The blending of your sunset wasn’t exactly up to par, but you thought if your stubborn boyfriend could get into it, you could too. It was your idea after all. How were you doing to be shown up by Mr. Grumpy over there?

Eventually, the instructor concluded the session and everyone around you was quick to show their group what they had done. Plenty of wine had flowed as well, probably contributing to the frenzy.

You stared at your sunset and were a bit…unimpressed. It was alright for a beginner, you figured. You turned to ask how Bucky was doing but your words died on your tongue when you saw his final painting. Bucky’s was the completed opposite of yours… It was like a whole new world. The detail, excitement, colors, everything… The care and concentration he had put into it didn’t go unnoticed. Everything flowed so gently and beautifully. To say you were amazed would be an understatement.

"Buck, that’s…incredible." You were in awe. Bucky glanced at you and a slight blush creeped up on his cheeks.

"You really think so?" He asked.

You nodded. "We’re gonna have to hang it up when we get home."

He chuckled and asked if you ere ready to go. You agreed, deciding it was time to free home.

With both paintings in one hand, Bucky used his other to intertwine your fingers and swung your arms back and forth gently as you two walked back home.

"I’ll be honest, I had a good time tonight," Bucky admitted.

"Really?" You giggled. "I hadn’t notice at all. I thought the canvas would combust from your intense stare."

He bumped his side into you lightly. "I was just… really into it. We gotta paint more."

"Oh, no, not we." You shook your head. "I think this is your hidden talent."

Bucky started to blush again and looked away toward the street.

"I mean it, babe." You mumbled, rubbing patterns on his hand with your thumb. "I think it could be good for you. Therapeutic, maybe."

His walking speed was slowing down a bit. You were looking at him while his eyes were trained on the pavement.

"Only if you promise you’ll hang up every painting I do."

You smiled at the comment. He started picking that talent up from you—making some lighthearted comment even in the slight serious of times. The fact he even considered it made you feel all fuzzy. You couldn’t wait to see what he could do with a full set of acrylics.

"It would be an honor to display any of your paintings."

He gave you a peck on the cheek, now making you blush as you continued your way home.

[redjennies]

To give you some context: I was once one of those "I like all music except country" types. This was largely due to my exposure to post 9/11 capitalist garbage. I had this opinion that country pretty much boiled down to tractors dogs and beer down by the river. Eventually I began to broaden my horizons and I discovered a love for blues and blue grass music. Your post about Johnny Cash is so timely and on point it's kinda crazy. I like Johnny Cash, but what you wrote put my feelings into something I couldn't yet articulate. I'm a northerner, from the Seattle area, but as I get older (33) I am coming to realize there is a lot I'm missing out on. This is written as I'm 4 beers deep on the 4th, so please forgive the rambling.

lol trust me, I'm from Tennessee and having to live in THE Country Music State at the height of post 9/11 era of country music, I definitely went from being a kid raised on country to going through my own "ugh I HATE country music" phase in my youth before reconnecting with it in my late teens in secret so my cool indie friends didn't think I was lame.

funny you mention bluegrass because there's a song by a bluegrass band that I think absolutely illustrates the exact inverse of what I'm talking about with my post about Johnny Cash and how people vastly underestimate what good country musicians are capable of sounding like and that's Alison Krauss & Union Station's absolutely beautiful hit cover of Keith Whitley's "When You Say Nothing at All," a cover that's so 90's pop country with an emphasis on pop that you'd be forgiven for not realizing it's even a country song much less one being covered by a bluegrass band. like seriously go listen to that song and then go press play on pretty much any song on their album Two Highways or Everytime You Say Goodbye. you will not believe it's the same band. what's crazy too is that they weren't even trying to sound more commercial for a hit. they literally just wanted to do a fairly faithful cover of how the original Whitley song sounds to throw on at the very end of a collection album for Krauss and it blew the fuck up.

because good country musicians can do shit like that. Bob Dylan's Blonde on Blonde is one of those universally critically acclaimed records of all time (note: to be read with the visual of me making a vague hand gesture that resembles jacking off), and the session musicians playing on it are some of the same Nashville boys who gave you the same music you hear on any given George Jones or Dolly Parton song. there's a reason Nashville became such a fixture in the music industry beyond just recording country music.

and hey as for being from Seattle that doesn't exclude you from being able to connect to country music in the same way a Southerner can. some of my all time favorite country artists are from the PNW. Brandi Carlile and Neko Case are both incredible indie alt country acts, who me and my idiot friends in Tennessee consider just as country as anyone making similar music from the South. shit iirc, a couple years back, Steve Earle himself called Brandi Carlile the most interesting artist currently happening in country music. but if you're looking for more traditional country acts, hell, the chief Buckaroo himself, Don Rich, was from Olympia and no one is going to dispute that he and Buck Owens on guitar is one of the most incredible duo acts that country music ever produced. like seriously if you find someone who says that, lemme know because I got words for them. I'm also a little drunk and I will pull up the half hour long videos of live performances.

[wildflowerteas]

20 questions for fic writers!

thank you to vik @minusboy for the tag <3 <3 <3 i missed seeing you on my dash.

how many works do you have on ao3?

. . . 2

what's your total ao3 word count?

503,872. (⊙ _ ⊙)

what fandoms do you write for?

just bsd! i try to work on original stuff in my down time, and I've considered writing for hannibal, sw, dune, etc... before however I've found i enjoy reading fics more for those fandoms.

what are your top five fics by kudos?

i don't have enough fics for this ;_; 1. when i awake 2. the second perspective

do you respond to comments? why or why not?

i try!! i have a huge backlog because i was gone for so long but i'm slowly slowly working through them ( 180+ )

what's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

when i awake's ending is definitely bittersweet, but sometimes death really is just the ending that provides the best narrative fulfillment for a character. however considering the ending I have planned for tsp... ugh. i actually think when i awake might be angstier

what's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

see above.

do you get hate on fics?

apparently~ not much, though, thank god. i have seen people talk about my writing in passing on twitter when they didn't know it was me they were replying to, or they think i don't check the qrts on my posts, but it's mostly harmless stuff about my writing not matching their preferences which is alright <3

do you write smut?

yes, only very recently though

do you write crossovers?

i'm thinking about it... mostly because i think an altered carbon bsd au could go CRAZY

have you ever had a fic stolen?

no!

have you ever had a fic translated?

i've had people ask to! but nothing has come out of it just yet ( or maybe I haven't looked hard enough )

have you ever cowritten a fic before?

i'm hoping i can...i just have huge issues with creative control so it's going to be a big thing for me.

what's your all time favourite ship?

Hannigram or destiel

what's the wip you want to finish but doubt you ever will?

with the way things are going right now it might be TSP. but in all seriousness, there's a BEAST AU skk thing sitting in my drafts waiting for a better outline...and all I do is stare at it longingly. lots of little snippets of it exist in a nebulous plot cloud ( my notes app ) alongside the synopsis of a soukoku actors au

what are your writing strengths?

i think the thing i do best is probably symbolism or the like... bringing moments back full-circle, weaving bits of the real-life authors' or bsd canon and meta-canon into the fic is where i find myself most satisfied with what I've done. also--since TSP is so noir-inspired--adding references to some of my favorite films hehe.

what are your writing weaknesses?

i'm awful at dialogue ( banter ), action sequences, and planning.

thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

i don't do it in languages i don't know unless i have a team of people willing to check it for me. i just write it in the same language as the rest of the fic and add a dialogue tag specifying it's being translated...

first fandom you wrote for?

you'll never find it but i did write destiel way back when

favourite fic you've ever written?

it WILL be TSP... when i finish it.

tags!!! no pressure to continue <3

@booksandpaperss @nyxi-pixie @saoirseyun <3

[sylsoddsandends]

My experience with Microtia, v2!

A (hopefully) educational post!

I wrote the original version of this post back in 2021! I've learned more things since then + I've gotten better at writing, so I thought it'd be nice to remake it with some updates! So, let's get into it :)

What is Microtia?

Microtia is a congenital facial difference that affects the outer ear, where the outer ear doesn't fully develop during pregnancy like it should.

Microtia comes in four "grades" depending on how developed the ear is. At higher grades, it may also include atresia, which is the lack of an external opening to the ear canal. The highest grade, grade 4, is also known as anotia, and that means there is no external ear present at all.

Microtia can be present on its own, or it can be a part of the wider conditions Hemifacial Microsomia, Goldenhar Syndrome, and Treacher-Collins Syndrome.

If you'd like more fancy clinical information, I'm gonna direct you to this website :) I'm not a doctor.

What effects can microtia have?

Probably the most obvious effect of all is that microtia is a visible difference. People will notice, and they will wonder about you. When I was younger, I was asked more than once by my peers if I had been in a fire! To which, hey, it's none of your business!

I know most adults, at least, understand that it's rude to ask, but I still wear my hair down near-constantly, just to avoid any attention getting drawn to my ears. I've never gotten them pierced, for the same reason.

If atresia is present, then microtia can also be a cause of deafness. Whether a person with microtia is involved with the d/Deaf community may vary (I am not), but it's still pretty hard to hear when there's no way for the sound to actually get to your inner ear.

Some people opt for reconstruction to change this- essentially, plastic surgery to open up the ear canal and make the ear appear more "normal". Others get a bone-anchored hearing aid, aka BAHA– sound can be conducted through bone, so a BAHA delivers sound as vibration directly to the bone. Still others (like me) choose not to change it– I feel my ears are fine as they are, and I would rather the people around me simply be accommodating! (More on this in a bit!)

I, specifically, have microtia in both my ears, with atresia on my right side. This means I am unilaterally deaf. Unilateral hearing loss requires some different considerations than bilateral hearing loss– I can still generally hear and understand others, but I have trouble with a few things, which I'm going to give their own subsection right here.

People standing on my right side– I generally call it my "bad side" but that's definitely not the most neutral thing to call it and it'll vary person to person what they're comfortable with. If someone stands on my bad side I will struggle to understand and keep track of them, and I may not even realize they are speaking to me if I didn't expect it.

Due to this I try to always stay to the right of others and stand at a little bit of an angle.

Unilateral hearing loss causes a loss of what we call "distance perception", much like how loss of vision on one side causes a loss of depth perception– my brain can't compare inputs from both ears to tell where a sound is coming from and what sounds to prioritize.

This means that I am bad at Marco Polo, buuut it also means that noisy areas can be especially overwhelming and I can struggle to follow conversations there. I hated my high school cafeteria with a burning passion.

The little things! I can't wear earbuds in my right ear, and they get uncomfortable quickly in my left. I need the earpieces of my glasses bent further so they stay on right, and I can't wear face masks that go over my ears. If I get earwax or water in my left ear, I will really struggle to hear at all. It's a pain in the neck!

How can you (and/or your characters) be accommodating to someone with microtia?

Don't ask invasive questions! Seriously, it's really uncomfortable, they'll tell you on their own if they want you to know.

Stand and walk where they can hear you well! If you do this on your own it's really nice and shows you care.

Use the language they are comfortable with! There's not as much of a "person-first" versus "identity-first" thing with microtia– I mean, I guess I could be called a "microtia-having individual", but it'd just feel really clunky. But I'm not the spokesperson for every person with microtia out there! So respect the language they'd like you to use.

Be mindful of situations where they might be struggling to hear you, and make a conscious effort to include them in conversation! Remember how I mentioned the cafeteria? Yeah, I might not have hated it so much if the people I knew actually tried to have intelligible conversations with me. Also, please just repeat stuff if we ask, it just feels like you're purposefully leaving us out if you say "never mind".

Why am I writing this?

This is the most important part of this whole guide to me!

The thing is, I've never seen a character with microtia in media, and only once or twice in art. As much as I would love to see characters who look like me, that just doesn't happen.

Yeah, microtia is rare– it occurs in somewhere between 1/6000 to 1/12000 births– but even by that logic, for every 60 to 120 redhead characters, there should be one with microtia! And I know a LOT of redheads in pop culture.

Furthermore, even the discussion of microtia online is pretty heavily focused on family and what they can do to "fix" microtia. And while I won't bash people who did go that route– if its right for you, it's right for you!– I see my ears in a neutral light and would rather just treat them as a part of my body like any other.

I want to be able to have conversations with people like me and commiserate about how annoying it is to have someone try to talk to me and be unable to understand them, or how convenient it can be when someone is apparently being annoying off to my right side and I don't have to listen to them!

So, I hope this little guide post of mine inspires you to include microtia in your artwork, or for that matter, to include other lesser-known differences! I'm sure there are other people out there hoping for the same thing I am. So go forth and talk to them, include them, and I bet they'll be really happy to see themselves, just as I'll be :)

If you've still here after this little ramble of mine, feel free to ask questions or provide suggestions if you have them! I'd love to hear what you have to say, too ^^

[lakesparkles]

(I was originally gonna post this in the replies of the last ask but I got shy ;-;)

YES. YESSSSS oh my god. you and I. we're like the same. ramona's guilt was what drew me to her in the first place. it's so rare to find a character that truly struggles with feeling like a bad person, and bryan wrote it so perfectly. it's such a shame that this part of ramona never made it into any of the adaptations. he represented how domestic abuse affects victims so well, SO WELL. anyone who argues that being interested in gideon/ramona is bad has never experienced d/a. long-term abuse destroys you. it rewires your brain. it makes you obsessive and vulnerable and lonely but afraid of people. I was attached to my ex for years after we broke up. years after we stopped talking I still fantasized about earning his approval and love and affection. I think it's quite natural to obsess over similar situations, in a way. healthier than thinking about your own lol

bryan wrote gideon and ramona. so. well. I do wish he would have explained more about them, but what we did get (in the comics) was really personal and important to me. ramona's self-hatred, her misplaced guilt, her feelings of being an evil person who can't be saved... yeah. any time someone says "ramona was the real villain!" I do the biggest eye-roll ever. no, she's not. being a victim makes you do some terrible, terrible things to yourself and others but I don't think even that makes her evil. she's just a person

and yes. I love villains, and gideon is nowhere near the worst. the way that he's presented, especially with the tone of scott pilgrim, is very comedic. he's hardly evil in the anime/movie at all

I love. characters who struggle with morality and feeling evil so much. if I had replied on the last post from my main you could've seen my fave for the past year😭😭

-🦊

(oh don't worry at all, I know how it feels 😔)

You understand me so much, reading your asks even comfort me in a way, thank you for this <3 EXACTLY!! And when I find a character who feels this way... They're usually written in a way that I can't relate to. But Ramona is very different, it was like she was translating my own feelings into words and I could finally understand what I felt, in the first place.

And you're surely not wrong or alone for being this way, with me it was basically the same. I don't see my ex for seven years (?) and I still think about her all the time. I wonder how different things could've been. I wonder if I was the one who acted wrong (not surprises, this is what happens after you have a relationship with someone who manipulates you to believe it).

This is exactly the reason Ramona is so important to me and why Gideon and her are the best representation of an abusive relationship. Many people are afraid to show that, when you're a victim of it, you don't feel good about yourself. In fact, it's like you feel guilty and ashamed for the longest time. And, even worse, that this kind of relationship has good moments too and this is the hardest part. When my ex was nice, she was VERY nice.

I love villains, however, Ramona is NOT EVEN CLOSE to being one. I haaate when people say this about her... But let's be real, a big part of the Scott Pilgrim fandom hates women :( and yeees, Gideon is just "normal villain" level to me. He's bad, he's showed as bad but many of his scenes are funny. Bryan himself doesn't take his seriously and, most of all, he's a loser. I love him for this.

Now I'm so curious about your fave haha but like I said, don't worry at all!! You're always free to reply with your main or DM me, but only if you feel comfortable doing so ^^

[disarmd]

10 + 14 + 20 for the ask game <3

[fic ask game] thanks for playing with me nonnie!!

10 ⧽. what genre is generally the easiest or most enjoyable for you to write? which is the hardest?

these two questions fit so well together because it's like... yeah.... what do i write? i think maybe the most common type of story i write is like canon based tropes-taken-seriously. like the edge of realism that you'd expect from a canon-based fic set in the Real World, as opposed to like tropey escapism that delights in its own ridiculousness (also an incredible genre which i love). but i don't actually think that's the easiest or most enjoyable thing to write. i find the significant constraints of staying within canon makes it feel more like a technical exercise, and making that aspext work is often the part that feels most laborious. but i also feel like i "have to" in that like... the way i love the genre of fanfic so much, and a huge part of that is canon-based stories where it actually feels grounded in the world as it is legitimately known to you as a reader. that the people feel accurately in character. it's the purest form of fanfic, as a genre, to me. so i feel at least somewhat compelled to write that type of story. for example, i found it reasonably difficult to write taking care, but now that it's done i really like it and it hits a lot of the "what i want as a reader" notes. but then on the other hand, i'd say alternate universe are both the easiest and most enjoyable to write. it feels fun as opposed to challenging to try to weave little bits of canon in, and otherwise free to get to make up anything, and i end up feeling a lot "closer" to the stories. so like canon based stories feel like "i would like to read this if someone else wrote it" and aus feel like "eye wrote this."

14 ⧽. is there anything outside of your normal content that you want to write?

i find it very hard to make this type of assessment about myself, but i THINK that there's a fair amount of variety in what i write? like that post has been going around about "finishing reading a story and going to the author's profile hoping they've written a bunch more of the exact same thing" and i don't think people would particularly feel that way with my profile?????? i've wondered about this, so you could tell me if i'm wrong! i know sometimes we think our own stuff is like soooOO different because we're staring at it from 2 cm away but from an objective outsider it's like, nah. and just because of how much i've written, i definitely think you could find comparable stories if you went across different fandoms. but regardless, when i'm writing i quite commonly feel like i'm trying to do something new to what i've done before, just because i really like novelty and hate feeling bored. so i think i've already ticked off quite a few things that i knew i wanted to try. the only thing i can think of now is writing fantasy, which i have technically done that a couple times before. but i've read sooo much fantasy since then and i'm curious how it would feel now to write the genre that i've probably done most of my original novel reading in for the last few years.

20 ⧽. answer any one of the other questions that you want to!

I chooooose.... 19 ⧽. give a hint/teaser about something you're writing without any context or explanation! tease us haha

Lando hadn’t forgotten, but he’d briefly stopped considering the history of his feelings for Alex. It wasn’t his fault that he spent his teenage years looking like a primary schooler while Alex was making his way through the karting ranks on beast mode. Every time they ended up at the same party, Alex disappeared midway through to get a blowie in someone’s guest bedroom and Lando got questioned by some kindly tall person if his parents knew where he was. 

[forest-of-stories]

Throwback Thursday, Fandom Edition: "Be back before Dawn."

This Throwback Thursday entry was inspired in part by Michelle Trachtenberg’s recent death at the age of 39.  May her memory be a blessing.

“Real Me,” which established Dawn Summers as part of the main cast, was one of the first episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer that I ever watched.  I remembered Michelle from her roles on Nickelodeon when she and I were both much younger, and was very happy to see her again.  And I knew from fannish osmosis that Dawn wasn’t all that she seemed, but it was a while before I picked up the show again from the beginning, and eventually learned the full story.

Over a decade ago, a LiveJournal blogger named eleusis-walks wrote an essay about Dawn that, unfortunately for us, seems to no longer be publicly available.  One of his most memorable points was that her character subverted (at least to a degree) the trope of the young person who, despite having lived an ordinary life, discovers that she has a mystical origin and purpose.  The horrific twist, this blogger argued, is that Dawn’s ordinary life, identity, and connections to her loved ones were part of an elaborate lie forced on her and on them without their consent, and her mystical origin and purpose didn’t give her supernatural powers or a triumphant destiny.  Instead, they made her vulnerable to evil beings who endangered everyone she cared about, so that they could eventually kill her and bring about the apocalypse. This existential drama was irresistibly fascinating to me, and Michelle Trachtenberg carried all sides of Dawn’s character – from cheerful to anguished – with charm and pathos.

Eleusis also framed his post as a rebuttal to viewers who hated Dawn… which was a fandom trend of which I had sadly become aware by that point, although most fans with whom I had regular contact seemed to like or at least tolerate her.  I’ve never been comfortable with the custom of shouting “Shut up, Dawn!” at “Once More, With Feeling” sing-along events, or responding to her singing “Does anybody notice? Does anybody care?” with a chorus of “No!” The amount of gleeful vitriol aimed at a teenage girl, even a fictional one, often by adult audience members, doesn’t sit right with me… and Michelle was a real person, she wasn’t much older than her character, and I’ve read that she was upset by the audience regularly yelling about how much they hated Dawn.  I don’t have a direct source for that claim, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all if it were true, and I wouldn’t blame her.  Dawn was sometimes reckless and selfish and excessively emotional (or “bratty” and “whiny” if you prefer), but – as Sarah Z pointed out in her video about Season 6 – there’s something validating about the way that the other characters and the show nevertheless deemed her worthy of love and protection.  

I watched most of Buffy from 2006 to 2007, on DVDs that I borrowed from the library or from my local independent video store.  Although Season 5 contains “The Body,” which was justifiably recognized as a standout examination of grief, the season finale, “The Gift,” was just as much of an emotional gut-punch, even though I knew that Buffy wouldn’t stay dead.  As I wrote immediately after watching:

My sisters are among the most important people in my life; we’re lucky that, to date, I’ve never needed to worry seriously about one of them dying, as an act of self-sacrifice or for any other reason.  The age difference between Buffy and Dawn is the same as the one between Older Sister and myself, and the mixture of exasperation and love between the Summers sisters has always felt very authentic to me.  In the latter two seasons, Dawn was more than an object to be safeguarded; she and Buffy saved and protected each other more than once.  Ultimately, Dawn had to decide that she was a real person, that her love for her friends and family – and theirs for her – was genuine, and that her past might have been false but she could still make choices for her present and future.

[tossawary]

As I post about rereading SVSSS for lore and characterization, and about sometimes ignoring canonical details for the sake of whatever story I want to tell / explore in fanfiction for fun, I want to make it clear that I don't make these changes because I think it makes a "better story" or that I can write a "better story". I don't even like using the term "fix-it" for my canon divergence AUs that avert some in-universe tragedy, even if it is the "correct" fandom term in some cases, because I don't think that SVSSS is a story that needs to be "fixed".

(Honestly, a lot of my minor alterations to canon's details are because I can't remember what exactly canon is and can't always be bothered to hunt for one sentence (which I may or may not remember existing at all) across multiple volumes, especially when I don't always think strict faithfulness to canon is that crucial to the main concept of what I'm doing. I wrote PINTWILF and several other fics before the official English translations were fully released, when checking minor details was an even greater pain in the ass. Sometimes, I'm cooking without the recipe in front of me because I just want to eat.)

Like, I have criticisms of SVSSS, definitely. When I first started writing SVSSS fic, I was more frank about this (fond but less fond of the characters and world than I am now), and I've talked about things I wished the story expanded on more. I think it has flaws. I know those flaws are a dealbreaker for many people. But it's not my story. I can't tell MXTX's story better, because I believe that every author's story belongs to them and only they know what they're trying to achieve, even when I may personally think that the story might have been stronger if it had done something differently or I'm ignoring some minor detail specifically because I don't really like it.

It's awkward, sometimes, occasionally being told by someone that they enjoyed my fic more than the original story. It's very flattering (I can't pretend I don't have an ego) and I don't think anyone means any harm by this, people enjoy stories or don't for many different reasons (enjoyment is not necessarily an indication of quality and I think engaging with fandom can often be more fun than just reading a story on its own by yourself), but it is a little awkward, especially when SVSSS is not an English / western story. I have an advantage appealing to western readers. Reading a translation of the original story, I know there are details of SVSSS going over my heard, references I'm missing, nuances I don't recognize, even as I endeavor to keep learning. I personally enjoy some of my fics more than SVSSS itself because I associate them with good experiences and a lot of them appeal to me personally in some way or another (all of my favorite tropes! we all have favorite tropes!), but they are built on the back of someone else's original work on the other side of the world, and I want to be respectful of that.

I don't want to compete or fix. I'm not trying to compete or fix, I think I would fuck it up if anyone seriously set that task on me, and I don't think that's a good way to view anything. I want to explore and appreciate. I'll type up a lengthy post at some point as to why I'm generally not interested in concrit on my fics (honestly, mostly it's because I'm not interested in being told that a reader hates the present tense and wishes I would rewrite the entire story, which has happened to me before), but I hope that doesn't come off as disinterest in the original story or its cultural context, or as me thinking even a little bit that any of my stories are flawless and/or better than the original.

I want to make a "why would you put two bad bitches (compliment) against each other like this?" joke here, but I also want to be clear: I think MXTX is by far the badder bitch (compliment) in this situation.

(Turning off reblogs, btw, because this post skews more on the personal side.)

[badaziraphaletakes]

Hello, I just want to state, in the hopes that knowing this can contribute to maybe lowering the temperature in the fandom a bit, that this blog absolutely and categorically was not made with any individual in mind. I think that is a worry people have when they see something like this, and I get why that would be a concern.

So in case this helps, here is how I run the blog:

75% of the takes I post are submitted to me (many with a request from the submitter to stay anonymous), not things I select myself, and they come from a variety of original authors. Occasionally I post one that I saved myself that I've been mulling over, most of which I have had kicking around in my files for months. (Seriously, I put a looooot of thought into this.) Those also come from a variety of people.

When it comes to deciding what to post, I make a point of specifically choosing takes that I have seen re-iterated by a lot of different people. If I post something, it's never because so-and-so wrote it - it just happened to be the particular post I either screenshotted (screenshot?) or was sent. (I also don't save people's handles when I do screenshot a take, unless I'm planning to reply directly to them, so 99 times out of 100 I don't even remember who originally wrote the take).

If I've only seen a take expressed by one person then I don't post it. Period. Because dollars to donuts it's just them bringing their experiences to how they view something. For that reason, individual people's takes aren't of concern to me. When you see a take over and over again, though, that's when I can no longer attribute it to one person's unique perspective and instead begin to look at broader societal biases that may be behind it. I didn't think of the problematic Aziraphale takes I've seen as victim-blaming/anti-Autistic/etc until I saw the sheer number of them. And that's when I realized, huh, this just isn't an individual person looking at it through their own personal lens - something bigger's going on here - this is a societal thing.

I came up with the idea for this blog weeks before deciding to actually make it, and it was not as a reaction to any one post. The idea just popped into my head one afternoon as I was sitting there feeling sad about the Aziraphale hate I was seeing - especially as regards victim-blaming and anti-Autistic bias - and lamenting that I didn't have a space to express how frustrating and hurtful it was. I'm far less concerned with anyone's individual opinions and more concerned with overall trends.

Bottom line: IF IT WAS ONLY ONE PERSON SAYING THESE THINGS, I WOULD NOT HAVE HAD ANY REASON TO CREATE THIS BLOG. That would just be a waste of everybody's time. Moreover, setting out to specifically attack anyone would lower people's experience of the fandom as a whole, and that is the opposite of what I want to do.

The fact that the very brutal anti-Aziraphale takes are coming from a lot of people is exactly why I felt the need to speak up. It made me and a lot of other people feel uncomfortable in the fandom. This blog has been my way of attempting to try to combat that by helping them know they're not alone and give people a space to express how hurtful it has been. (And also to hopefully find some humor in a difficult situation).

If anyone is worried, I hope this can help assuage those worries. I absolutely promise I am not sitting here raging over any specific people or anything like that. I'm just not wound that way. I have no bones to pick with any specific people.

Thanks.

[burtonsdoodles]

Children of Earth: Day FOUR Reflections... #8

Here it is! (I’ll be honest, I may have forgotten I never posted this) The final one of the more lengthy points which got shortened for my full list of thoughts after watching Day FOUR of CoE...

Lastly, let's talk about Ianto's response to realising he was dying… (I’m sorry, I have to do it!)

I like that he wasn't the one freaking out, because let me tell you, if he had, then I'd have been like Tosh during Owen's second death freak out scene in EXIT WOUNDS, it would have broken my heart! (Well... beyond what I'm considering the 'acceptable' level anyway.) I've already written about Jack's response, but his being the one panicking and bargaining while Ianto remains rather composed and pragmatic sums them both up - Jack lives to fight, while Ianto just gets on with it. You can see it even as Ianto confesses his love to Jack; Jack is fighting against him on it, while Ianto says what needs to be said. Also, the same can be said about the bit before that, where Jack immediately runs to warn the guards in the hall about the situation - instinctively fighting against what's coming - while Ianto, very aware of what's coming, just stays put, grits his teeth and attempts to take the 456 ambassador out with him. (Seriously, when Ianto's cornered, he gets fierce, and I love seeing it!) I mean, obviously it doesn't have any effect in this situation and he still dies, but it makes me think of him in COUNTRYCIDE, where he's like fuck it, I'm gonna headbutt a diranged cannibal to ensure Tosh at least escapes with her life. ICONIC <3

His whole response felt very in line with the character he's always been portrayed as throughout the show. I've said in a previous post before that the writing of his character seemed to change a bit after s2 - not necessarily in a negative way, but there was a definite difference with how he was reacting to things that felt different. In this episode however, I do think he returned to form… He was Ianto Jones: A true agent of Torchwood and Jack's right-hand man… even to the very end. 

His lack of overt panic, I think, plays into his awareness that people usually don't last long in this job… harking back to what he said to Gwen in TO THE LAST MAN, about the deaths of the WWI era Torchwood members, “they were all young… nothing changes.” And he's right, nothing changes. He's watched so many colleagues over the (not even that many) years die in the name of Torchwood, and he has narrowly avoided his own death on a great number of occasions. But now his luck has finally run out, and the inevitability of death has come to claim him. It's even evident in the call to his sister. Obviously, it's being used to get the attention of the Black Ops people and spread the truth of what's about to happen to those who are listening in. But after he warns Rhiannon to protect the kids, he makes sure she knows how much he loves her and them… he knows there's a very very real possibility that he's not making it out of this alive. He doesn't waste time on false promises or see you laters, this is his goodbye. 

On some level, he goes into that room ready for whatever comes… which further validates my hatred of the DAY 3 line, “so… one day, you’ll see me die… of old age” -- I'm sorry, but who wrote that line?! Ianto doesn't even think he's making it to 30, let alone old age! S2 proves that! He has never once been under the illusion that he's gonna live a long, prosperous life whilst also working for Torchwood - it doesn't happen! That 'old age' comment is only there for dramatic irony, and I HATE IT! It's stupid and it doesn't fit Ianto! (The utter rage I hold for the inclusion of those three little words in that line is admittedly ridiculous - I acknowledge that… but I stand by it.) Anyway, back to finishing the original point…

I think it says a lot about Ianto that as he's dying, the thing that upsets him most is the prospect that the man he loves, the man who changed his life, and gave it meaning again, is eventually going to forget about him one day… It's heartbreaking, a true gut punch, and while Jack tries to reassure him that he could never forget him, the fact of the matter is, Jack is immortal. He is cursed to live. It doesn't matter how much Ianto might mean to him right now, in the end, he may not have a choice in what his mind gets to retain and what it doesn't… It's the tragedy of everlasting life. But who knows, maybe Ianto captured his heart in a way that keeps his memory alive throughout Jack's existence… I personally love the theory I saw once that linked the Face of Boe's final act - saving the nun and citizens of New New York from a deadly virus - being a reflection of Jack not having been able to save Ianto! (Is it highly unlikely that that is what's going on? Yes, but I still love it - whether Jack's canonically Boe or not - it's a beautiful idea.) Anyway, as I've said, these two were always destined for tragedy; there are no happy endings for a moral and a man who can never die. And it hurts like hell, but the end was always inevitable… and while I wish we didn't have to see it happen, in terms of a viewing experience, I am (at the moment) satisfied with the end we got.

Now, I'm saying all this… I have still got DAY FIVE to watch yet, so there's still time for me to get very pissed off by things in the aftermath of Ianto's loss. Guess we’ll see what happens when I eventually conclude CoE… which will definitely happen… someday… probably…

Whenever it does, you’ll know about…

LB :)